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Mrs. Deacon Spriggi 



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Bugbee's Popular Plays 



Mrs. Deacon 
Spriggs 

A Two Act Play For Women 

BY 
WiUis N. Bugtce 



Author of ^'Billy's Aunt Jane,** "Aunt Sophronia at College^** "The 

Old Class Reunion," "Graduation at Gayville," "Closing 

Day at Beanville Bchool,** etc, etc. 



Copyright, 1919, by Willis N. Bugbee 



THE WILLIS N, BUGBEE CO 

SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



4> (fi 



Mrs. Deacon Spriggs 



CHARACTERS. 



Mrs. Deacon Speiggs, the cause of the trouble. 
Mrs. Sylvester Pukdy, a well-to-do resident. 
Elnoba Pink, an eligible ''young" lady. 
Cynthiana Pink, Uer sister and equally eligible. 
Mrs. Pringle, very deaf. 
Mrs. Moore, very stout and asthmatic. 
Mrs. Grant 
Mrs. Brown 

Mrs. GrOWDY ) Neighbors of the Deacon. 
Mrs. Bumpus 
Mrs. Greene 

Nora, Mrs. Purdy's new servant. 
TIME — About thirty minutes. 



OCT 23 lbi9 



Q'^LD 52 9 30 



MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 3 

MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 

' A)CT I. 

SCENE: A porch or kitchen. Three or four kitchen chairs 
or a bench comprise the furnishings. 

(Enter Mrs. Grant with tin of apples and knife, sits down). 
Now I've got to sit right down here an' peel these apples first 
thing so's to get some pies ready for dinner. It would be a ter- 
rible calamity if John should havie. to go without his pie for 
one meal. No wonder his stomach's give out. I should think 
anybody's insides would get out of kilter eatin' pie three times 
a day. (Peels apples. Looks up road.) Well now, I declare if 
there ain't Betsy Bumpus a comin' here to borrow something. 
I never seen sech a woman for borrowin' in my born days as 
she is. First it's a drawin' of tea, then a loaf of bread, or a 
pair of shoes. Why last week she even wanted to borrow my 
tooth brush, but I draw the line on lendin' tooth brushes. 
(Enter Mrs. Bumpus.) 
Mrs. B. Howdy do, Mis' Grant. 

Mrs. G. Howdy, Betsy, Come right in an' set down. 
Mrs. B. No, I can't set down. I jest came over to see if 
I could borrow your plaid shawl to go over to Beanville. 

Mrs. G. Wal, I dunno's there's anything to hinder ye. 
(Starts to leave room.) 

Mrs. B. An' say — if you don't mind I'd like to take your 
best bonnet an' them black kid gloves of yourn. 

Mrs. G. I s'pose you'll be real careful of 'em, won't you? 
Mrs. B. Of course I'll be careful of 'em — just as careful as 
if they was my own. 

(Mrs. G. goes off R. and returns with honnet, shawl and 
gloves.) 

Mrs. G. Wal, here they be. Hain't nothin' else you think of 
is there? Don't want my best shoes an* best alpaca dress? 

Mrs. B. Land! how you talk! Jest as if I didn't have good 
shoes an' a best dress. Wal, I'm thankful I have — sech as they 
be. But say! I'd most forgot. I've got some news for ye. 
Mrs. G. Do tell! What is it? 

Mrs, B. It's the most outlandish thing you ever heard of. 
Deacon Spriggs has advertised for a wife. 

Mrs. G. Deacon Spriggs advertised for a wife? My land! 
You don't say! 

Mrs. B. Yes, it's gospel truth. I've got the paper right 
here with me. Jest listen an' I'll read it, (Unfolds paper and 
reads.) 
"To whom it may concern: 

The undersigned wishes to get a good capable woman to come 
and take care of house for a widower. Might consider matri- 
mony with right party. Address or call on Azariah Spriggs, 
Greenville." 

There! Did you ever hear the like of that? 
Mrs. G. No, I never did. Let's see, how many times has he 
been married — ^^two or three times? 



4 MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 

Mrs. B. Three times an' this will make four. 

Mrs. G. Dear me! Who would ever have thought sech a 

heathenish thing would happen right here in this peaceable 

neighborhood. 

Mrs B. Wal, as I told Cynthiana Pink t'other day, you can't 
generally most always tell what men folks will do — 'specially 
widowers an' deacons. Wal, I must be goin'. I've got to stop 
an' show this to Mrs. Brown an' then hustle home an' get ready 
to go to Beanville with Joshua. Good-bye. (Exit.) 

Mrs. G. Land o' livin'! That beats anything I ever heerd 
of, but I s'pose he's got a right to do it if he wants to. Now 
if here ain't Mrs. Nate Gowdy an' Mrs, Green comin'. I'll never 
get these pies done. 

{Enter Mrs. Gowdy and Mrs. Green.) 

Mrs. Gow^dy. 'Mornin', Mrs. Grant, 

Mrs. Grant. 'Mornin', ladies. Come rigtit in an' set down. 

Mrs. GreeiV {sitting down). Don't let us interrupt you. Jest 
go right along with your work, Mrs. Grant. We're only goin' 
to stay a minute. 

Mrs, Gowdy. We jest stopped in to tell ye about Deacon 
Spriggs. 

Mrs. Grant. Yes, I've heerd about him. Betsy Bumpus was 
jest here. She says he's advertised for a wife. 

Mrs. Green. Now ain't that the beatines'^ thing? Did she 
tell ye about his goin' away on the' train night 'fore last? 

Mrs. Grant. No, she didn't mention that. 

Mrs. Green. Wal, he did. He went on the 7:3(> train an* 
he was all tog^ged out in a new store suit an' a derby hat. My 
boy Jim was down to the depot when he went. 

Mrs. Gowdy. Most likely he's got a letter from some female 
in answer to his advertisement. I won't say woman because 
'tain't no decent woman would answer sech an advertisement as 
that. 

Mrs. Green. I s'pose likely he'a gone to see what kind of 
bargain he can make, same as if 'twas a boss You know he's 
the greatest boss trader in these parts — a reg'lar David Harum. 
As Hank Slocum says, "Anybody that gets ahead of Deacon 
Spriggs in a boss trade has got to get up purty good season in 
the mornin'." 

Mrs. Grant. I hope if he does find a woman that she'll make 
him toe the mark. 

Mrs. Gowdy. There's one thing — she can't expect the ladies 
round here will have much of anything to do with her under the 
circumstances. 

Others. Of course not. 

Mrs. Green. An' oh say! Did you hear that Mrs. Sylvester 
Purdy was goin' to give a party? 

Mrs. Grant. No, when is it to be? 

Mrs. Green. Next Thursday afternoon, an' we're all invited. 
Of course we'll all have to go to it. 

Mrs. Gowdy. Wal do come along, Mrs. Green, we must be 
goin'. 

Mrs. Green. Yes, so we must. Good-bye, Mrs. Grant. 



MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 6 

Mrs. Grant. Good-bye, an' do come again. 

(Exeunt Mrs. Greex and Mrs, Gomdy.) 

Mrs. Grant, Wal, there! I've set an' talked an' hain't got 
these apples peeled yet. (Works — pause.) I do declare if here 
ain't somebody else comin'. It's Mrs. Brown. 
(Enter Mrs. Brown,) 

Mrs. Brown. Howdy do, Mrs. Grant. 

Mrs. G. Why, howdy do, Mrs. Brown. Come right in an' 
set down, 

Mrs, B. I can't stay long. I was goin' by an' I thought I 
must run in an' tell ye all about the Deacon, Have you heerd 
about him? 

Mrs, G. Yes, I heerd he'd advertised lor a wife an' 'bout 
his goin' off on the train t'other night. 

Mrs, B. Wal, he's got back agin. 

Mrs. G. Do tell! An' did he bring, her home with him? 

Mrs. B. I should say he did! He brought two of 'em. 

Mrs, G. For the land sakes! Two of 'em! It's gettin' worse 
an' worse. 

Mrs. B. That's what I say. The idee of a deacon of the 
church advertisin' for a wife when he could have got any one 
of a half dozen right around here jest for the askin'. There's 
Elnora an' Cynthiana Pink an' Martha Dusenbury an' Polly 
Hatter would have been glad of the chance. I say it's out- 
rageous. 

Mrs. G, It's scandalous, that's what it is. Then to think 
of his comin' home with two of 'em. Why, he oughter be turned 
out of the church an' arrested for biggermy. 

Mrs. B, It's my opinion he ought to be tarred an' feathered 
an' rode out of town on a rail. 

Mrs. G. Yes, an' them two women along with him. 

Mrs, B, I'm thinkin' mebbe 'twould be a hard job. Mrs. 
Pusley was down by the depot when they got off the train an' 
she says one of 'em's a reg'lar Amazon — most six feet tall. 

Mrs. G. Do tell! 

Mrs. B, An' she says the other one's considerably smaller, 
but she wore a veil so she couldn't tell how she looked. 

Mrs. G. I don't wonder she wore a veil. 

Mrs. B, Neither do I. Wall I must hurry. I've got to go 
down to the store for some ginger. I s'pose you're goin' to Mrs. 
Purdy's party Thursday afternoon. 

Mrs. G. Yes, I'm callatin' to if nothin* happens. 

Mrs. B. bo'm I. Wal, good-bye. (Exit.) 

Mrs. G. Dear me! I'll never get those pies made in the 
world if I don't get to work an' stop talkin' so much. I declare, 
here comes somebody else. 

(Enter Elnora and Cynthiana Pink.) 

Elnora 5 Good mornin', Mrs. Grant. 

Cynthiana ( 

Mrs. G. Wal, of all things! If it ain't Elnora an' Cynthiana 
Pink. How be ye? 



6 MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 

Both. We're pretty well. We've come over to see if you're 
goin' to the party Thursday. 

Mrs. G. I'm plannin' on it if I get these pies made in time. 

Elnoba. We thought we'd like to walk along with you. 

Cynthiana. Because you know it's quite the thing for girls 
an' young women nowdays to have chaperonies. 

Elnora. An' we thought you'd be just the nicest kind of a 
chaperony. 

Mrs. G. (Aside). The idee! Me a chaperon, an' they're 
both of 'em oldern I be. 

Cynthiana. What do you say, Mrs. Grant? 

Mrs. G. Why, of course. I'll be real glad to gc with you or 
to have you go with me — either way you want. 

Elnora. That's real kind of you. We want to be in style 
because you know Mrs. Purdy puts on so many airs. 

Mrs. G. She can afford to — anybody with as much money as 
she's got. 

Cynthiana. And say! Do you know she hasn't invited a 
single man to the party — not one. 

Elnora. Yes, it's just for women. Isn't it a shame. 1 think 
'twould be real nice if she'd had just a few men. Te, he. he I 

Mrs. G. I s'pose you mean unmarried ones, of course. 

Elnora. Why — er — yes, I guess so. 

Mrs. G. Well, there's some men I should hope wouldn't 
be invited — and some women too. 

Cynthiana. I suppose you mean Azariah Spriggs, don't 
you. I should hope so, too. 

Mrs. G. I mean him an' his two wives. 

Elnora. Oh my land! His two wives? I heard he was 
married but I didn't know he had two of 'em. 

Mrs. G. Wal, he has. One's a great big six-footer an' the 
other's a little runt. He came home with 'em both this mornin'. 
I don't know how many more he's got. 

Elnora. My goodness! He's getting most as bad as Solo- 
mon or Brigham Young. I'm real glad I didn't accept him. 

Mrs. G. What? Did he actually pop the question to you, 
Elnora? 

Elnora. Well — er — that is er — not in just so many words, 
but he hinted it. 

Cynthiana. And so he did to me. Te, he, he! but I didn't 
take the hint. 

Elnora. You know we're quite young yet so we don't need 
to be in a hurry to accept everybody that comes along. 

Mrs. G. Wal, you oughter be thankful you didn't accept the 
Deacon. 

Elnora. But I don't know what I might have done if he'd 
pressed his suit. 

Mrs. G. Wal, I don't know's I ever heard of his havin* his 
suit pressed an' 'specially his pants, but land! — who'd a thought 
that would make any difference 'bout his gettin' a wife? 

Elnora. Oh, I didn't mean his — er — his pants. Te, he, he' 
I meant if he'd been more ardent in his attentions — that is — had 
been more insistent in his proposals, you know. 

Mrs. G. He seems to have been ardent enough this time. I 
shouldn't worry a mite about what might have been. 



MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 7 

Cynthiana. Oh, we're not worrying, Mrs. Grant. Eut do 
come, Elnora, we must be going. Besides we shouldn't be telling 
all our little love affairs. Te, he, he! 

Elnoba. Yes, Cynthiana, we must go, and we'll see you 
Thursday, Mrs. Grant. Good-bye. (Exeunt.) 

Mrs. G. Dear me! Those old girls hate to admit that they 
couldn't get husbands, but after all there's worse things than 
bein' "old maids." (Arises). Wal, now I've got these apples 
peeled, I'll have to go'n make them pies or John won't have none 
for dinner. (Exit.) 

Curtain. 

ACT II. 

Scene: A sitting room at the home of Mrs. Purdy. (Enter 
Mrs. Purdy, L. rear, and passes to opposite side of stage.) 
Mrs. p. (Calling off R, rear). Nora! Nora! 
(Enter Nora.) 

Nora. Did yez be callin' me, mum? 

Mrs. p. Yes, Nora. I want you to be ready to attend the 
door when my guests arrive. 

Nora. Yis, mum, I'm ready any time. 

Mrs. p. It's almost time for them to come. Have you 
everything ready for them, Nora? 

NoRxV. Yis, mum. It don't be takin' me very long for thot 
bein' as you've not goin' to fade 'em heavy. 

Mrs. p. Only a light lunch. Of course they'll expect some- 
thing. 

Nora. Shure, an' they will that. (Bell rings.) Faix, an' 
here's some v^an comin' a-ready. (Exit, L. front.) 

Mrs. p. Dear me, this party is going to be a dreadful bore. 
Just because we are fairly well-to-do, the people around here 
think we must entertain, entertain all the time. And now this 
new servant girl is so awkward about such things makes it 
worse. I shall be glad when it's all over. I hope Lottie will 
come. 

(Enter Nora, followed hy Mrs. Gowdy, Mrs. Green, Mrs. 
Brown and Mrs. Bumpus.) 

Nora. Faix, an' here's four iv thim already, mum. 

Mrs. p. Come right in, ladies. I am very glad to see you. 

Mrs. Gowdy. No gladdern' we are to be here, Mrs. Purdy. 

Mrs. Brown. That's so, we think your parties are awful 
nice. 

Mrs. Purdy. Nora, take the ladies* hats into the hall. 

Nora. Yis, mum. (8he takes hats in arms and places one 
on her head.) 

Mrs. p. Why, Nora, don't put them on your head. 

Nora. Faix, an' I niver thought but 'twas me own. 

Several. (Aside.) Horrors! 

(Nora removes hat and drops one of the others.) 

Nora. Ach, worry! worry! 

Mrs. Green. Gracious! My new hat! 

Mrs. Purdy. Dear me, Nora, you must be more careful. 
(Picks up hat and hands to Nora.) 



8 MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 

Nora. Yis, mum, I will. (Exit. Bell rings again.) 

Mrs. Bump us. There's somebody else. S'pose its Mrs. 
Grant? 

Mrs. Brown. No, 'tain't her, because we stopped there on 
our way an' she wasn't anywhere near ready. 

(Nora assists Mrs. Moore into room. The latter appears to 
be all out of breath.) 

Nora. Here's some wan Use, mum, an' she's puffin' like a 
steam engine. 

Several. Oh, it's Mrs. Moore. 

Mrs. Purdy. Come right in and take off your hat, Mrs. 
Moore. 

Mrs. M. (panting.) Land o' goshen! I'm just— all out o'— 
breath a comin' — up them steps. Thought I never would get to 
the top. (Mrs. Purdy helps her to remove her hat.) 

Mrs. Purdy. Here, take this easy chair, Mrs. Moore. (Mrs. 
M. sits down.) Is there anything I can do for you? 

Mrs. Gowdy. Let me take a fan an' I'll fan her. That's what 
I allers do when my husband has sech spells. (Mrs. P. gets fan 
and Mrs. Gowdy fans Mrs. M. Bell rings. Exit Nora.) 

Mrs. Green. Well, nov/, there's somebody else comin'. 

Mrs. Purdy. Do you feel any better, Mrs. Moore? 

Mrs. M. Yes, I'll be all right in a few minutes, I guess. 
(Nora shows Mrs. Pringle in.) 

Nora. Here's another loidy, mum. She says her name is Hay. 

Mrs. Pringle. Hay? Why, no this is Mrs. Pringle. (Aloud). 
Good afternoon, Mrs. Pringle. 

Mrs. Pringle. Hey? 

Nora. Begorra, she's deef as a hitchin' post. 

Mrs. Purdy. (Very loud.) I said, "good afternoon." Le 
me take your hat, (Mrs. Purdy takes hat and hands to Nora 
who takes it .from room.) 

Mrs. Pringle. I declare! Here's Mrs. Bumpus an' Mrs. 
Brown an' — why, what in the world's the matter with Mrs. 
Moore? 

Mrs. Gowdy. Oh, nothin' only she's all out of breath a comin' 
up the steps. 

Mrs. Pringle. Do tell! Fell out of bed an' sprained her 
wrist? Ain't that too bad! 

Mrs. Gowdy. (Very loud.) I didn't say she fell out of bedJ| 
She can't breathe. " 

Mrs. Pringle. Can't breathe? Well now that's too bad. 
That's jest what ailed Sam Perkins when he died. He lost his 
breath. (Aside.) 

Mrs. G. My! How consolin'. 

Mrs. Bumpus. (Loud.) It's the asthma. She's had anothe 
attack. 

Mrs. Pringle. Chasin' the cat? Land sakes! No wonde! 
she can't breathe. 

(Bell rings.) 

Mrs. Green. Now I jest wonder who that is. (Enter Nora 
with Elnora and Cynthiana Pink and Mrs. Grant.) 

Mrs. Grant. I hope we hain't kept you waitin'. 

Mrs. Purdy. Oh no, not at all. Come right in, ladies. (They 
remove hats and Nora carries them from room.) 



j 



IS 



MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 9 

Mrs. Bumpus. We've jest got here ourselves. 

Mbs. Brown. But how in the world did you ever get here 
so soon? You weren't near ready when we came by. 

Mrs. Grant. I wouldn't have got ready as 'twas if t hadn't 
been for Elnora an' Cynthiana. They jest pitched right in an' 
did up the v/ork while I was combin' my hair an' changin' my 
dress. Nothin' like havin' good neighbors, you know. 

Mrs. Gowdy. We all know that Elnora an' Cynthiana are 
real good neighbors. 

Mrs. Purdy. I've been told they have a reputation for bein' 
splendid neighbors as well as excellent housekeepers. 

Mrs. Green, That's true, too. I often wonder that some 
good men hain't picked 'em up long 'fore this. 

Elnora. Did you ever hear such scandalous talk in your 
life, Cynthiana? 

Cynthiana. Never! Just as if we hadn't had lots of chances 
to get married if we'd wanted to. 

Elnora. But we don't propose to — er 

Mrs. Bumpus. Why of course you wouldn't do the proposin' 
'cept leap years. 

Elnora. I mean we don't propose to accept any clodhopper 
that comes along. We're young yet. 

Mrs. Moore. I don't blame you girls a bit. As I told Mr. 
Moore this mornin', "I'd rather live in single wretchedness than 
to be spliced up to a raan like Bige Wheeler or Philander Steb- 
bins or some others I might mention. 

Elnora. Well, for goodness sakes, don't mention any more 
like them. 

Mrs. Pringle. Say! Be they all here now? 

Mrs. Bumpus. All but Mis' Fletcher an' she couldn't come 
on account of the rheumatiz in her left knee. 

Mrs. Pringle. What's that? Her man gone off on a spree? 
You don't say! 

Mrs. Bumpus. No, I didn't say "spree." I said she had 
rheumatiz in her knee. 

Mrs. Pringle. Hey? 

Mrs. Bumpus. (Yelling). Rheumatiz — in — her — knee. 

Mrs. Pringle. Oh! Rheumatiz is it? Wal now that's too 
bad. I hadn't heerd about it. 

Mrs. Bumpus. I guess I'd go on a spree if I had to yell at 
her. 

Mrs. Pringle. Been havin' it quite a spell, you say? 

Mrs. Gowdy. (Loud.) No, she was just took with it yes- 
terday. 

Mrs. Purdy. I was real sorry Mrs. Fletcher and Mrs. Holli- 
day couldn't come. 

Mrs. Moore. Why, isn't Mrs. Holliday comin'? 

Mrs. Purdy. No, she sent her regrets saying she had to go 
to her husband's third cousin's funeral. 

Mrs. Moore. Wal now ain't that funny I hadn't heard about 
it. I allers hear of all the funerals, but then tain't no wonder 
after all seein' we've had so much sensation here lately. 
(Enter Nora.) 

NoBA. Plaze, mum, whin do yez be havin' the hash? 



10 MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 

Mrs. Brown. (Aside.) Hash? Who ever heard of hash 
at a party? 

Mrs. Puedy. Why, Nora, what do you mean? 

Nora. I mean the grub — the. vittles. 

Mrs. Purdy. Oh any time now. I'll come right out and see 
about it. (Exeunt Mrs. Puedy and Nora.) 

Mrs. Brown. The idea of havin' hash at sech doin's. 

Mrs. Moore. I s'pect that's the new hired gal Mrs. Purdy 
was expectin'. 

Mrs. Bumpus. Ain't she the stupidest critter you ever saw? 

Cynthiana. I'm awful glad Mrs. Purdy didn't invite them 
two women to the party. 

Mrs. Moore. What women be you referrin' to, Cynthiana? 

Cynthiana. Goodness! Don't you know? Why, them two 
women that everybody's been talkin' about for the last few days. 
Where've you been ail the time? 

Mrs. Moore. Oh, you mean them two over to Deacon 
Spriggs? 

Cynthiana. Of course. 

Mrs. Pringle. What's that? Who's been throwin* their shoe 
at the pigs? 

Cynthiana. (loud.) Nobody! I was talking about the two 
husseys over to Azariah Spriggses. 

Mrs. Pringle. Oh, is that it? Now ain't it a shame an' a 
disgrace sech goin's on in this peaceable neighborhood. I de- 
clare, I'm clean disgusted. 

Others. An' so are we. 

Mrs. Bumpus. I told myt husband this noon that if they 
were here I was comin' right straight home. 

Mrs. Green. I don't blame ye one bit. I would too. 

Mrs. Gowdy. To tell the truth, I guess we'd all be for goin' 
home. 

(Enter Mrs. Purdy.) 

Mrs. Purdy. Why, ladies, don't talk about going home yet, 
I have a pleasant surprise for you. 

Several. (Startled.) Oh, a surprise? 

Mrs. Purdy. Yes, a delightful surprise. No doubt you've 
heard me speak often of my old friend and schoolmate, Lottie 
Gardner? 

Several. Yes, we have! 

Mrs. Puedy. Well, I am happy to say that she is here this 
afternoon. I had almost given up her coming until a few mo- 
ments ago when 

(Enter Mrs. Deacon Speiggs.) 

Mrs. S. When I pounced in upon her all of a sudden. 

Mes. Puedy. Ladies, let me introduce you to my dear friend 
who until a few days ago was Lottie Gardner but now — the Mrs. 
Deacon Spriggs. 

All. O — — oh! Mrs. — Deacon — Spriggs? 

Mrs. S. Yes, the wife of your old neighbor, and I trust we 
may all be friends, and that I shall enjoy it here in your pleas- 
ant village. 

Seveeal. But we thought — yes, we thought- — 



MRS. DEACON SPRIGGS 11 

Mrs. S. Well, what did you think? Of course I know that 
my coming must have been a subject of comment. 

Mbs. Gowdy. Why, we thought there were two of you — that 
is 

Mr. S. Two of me? 

Mrs. Green. She means that we thought there were two 
Mrs. Deacon Spriggses. 

Mrs. S. Well really, I believe you are correct in thinking so. 

All. You do? 

Mrs. S. Yes, I understond that my husband has been mar- 
ried before, but there is only one Mrs. Spriggs living at the pres- 
ent time, and she is now standing before you. 

Elnora. But who is that other woman? 

Cynthiana. The big tall one. We thought 

Mrs. S. You mean Mrs. McGuire? Why she is a woman I 
brought with me to help clean the house. Ha! ha! Did you 
think my husband was a bigamist? 

Elnora. Why I 

Cynthiana. We didn't know of course. 

Mrs. Moore. Would you mind telling us if you first heard 
of Mr. Spriggs through his advertisement? 

Mrs. S. I am perfectly willing to tell you that I never saw 
his advertisement and that I first met Mr. Spriggs last summer 
while he was camping with Mr. and Mrs, Purdy. 

Mrs. Purdy. At (Any nearby resort.) 

Mrs.Gowdy. But you know he really did advertise for a 
wife? 

Mrs. S. I know that he told his nephew to write an adver- 
tisement for a scrub woman and that the nephew played a trick 
on him and the deacon hasn't forgiven him for it since. 

Mrs. Grant. I do think we ought to ask her pardon. 

Mrs. Pringle. What's the matter? What's the trouble now? 

Mrs. Gowdy. (very loud in Mrs. P.'s ear.) It's Mrs. Spriggs 
an' 'twasn't on account of the advertisement at all that they got 
married, an he ain't got but one wife either. 

Mrs. Pringle. Land sakes! Do tell! That's Jest what I 
thought all the time. 

Mrs. Moore. I'd jest like to know who's responsible for all 
these stories anyway. 

Mrs. Brown. So would I. 

Mrs. S. Well, don't let's try to find out. Let's forget all 
about it and be real good friends and neighbors. 

Mrs. Bumpus. Will you really forgive us? We'll be more 
careful how we talk about folks in the future. 

All. Yes, so we will. 

Nora, (at door.) The vittles is all ready, mum. 

Mrs. Purdy. Come, ladies, refreshments are waiting. I am 
sure that when you get acquainted with her you will all like MRS. 
DEACON SPRIGGS. 

Curtain. 



The Bugbee Entertainments 

ARE FAVORITES EVERYWHERE 



Hiram and the Peddlers. A farce in 1 act. The 
climax is a great surprise. 5m., 2f. Time, 30 min. 
25 cents. 

Closing Day at Beanville School. The most popular 
play for intermediate grades we have ever offered. 
7m., 7i. (more or less). Time, 30 min., or more. 25 
cents. 

Seven Little Soldiers and Seven Little Maids. For 

primary or intermediate grades. A splendid patriotic 
number. Book contains also "The Little Patriots' 
Loyalty Drill." 25 cents. 

Midgets' Grand Parade. A delightful pageant for 
little tots. Very easy to produce. Time, 30 min. 25 
cents. 

Funny Little Food Folks. A novelty entertainment 
for children. This is something different. Time, 30 
min. 25 cents. 

Jolly Christmas Book. By Willis N. Bugbee. The 

latest, jollrest and most usable Christmas book on the 
market. Full of good things for a complete Christmas 
program. 35 cents. 

America's Flag. A beautiful patriotic march and 
drill with tableaux. For 8 or 12 girls. 25 cents. 

Following the Stars and Stripes. A splendid new 
patriotic pageant. This should be on every program. 
For any number of children. Time, 15 to 45 min. 
25 cents. 

The Spirit of Christmas Time. A delightful pageant 
introducing pretty little drills, dances, songs, tableaux, 
etc. For any number. 25 cents. 

The Willis N. Bugbee Co., Syracuse, N. Y. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



The Bugbee Er 

ARE FAVORITES . 




017 400 514 A 



Pretty Pageants for Young Folks. These pageants 
are not only pretty but right up to the minute. Very 
easy and pleasing. Good for any time. 30 cents. 

Commencement Helps and Hints, for Eighth Grade 
People. Contains salutatories, valedictories, histories, 
class will, prophecies, banquet, class drill, play, yells, 
mottoes, colors, novel sports, songs, stunts, etc. A 
valuable book. 35 cents. 

Uncle Peter's Proposal. A farce in 2 acts by W. T. 
Newton, 3m., 2f. A very clever little play. Time, 30 
minutes. 25 cents. 

Old Class Reunion. A prophetic class play. The 
members of the old class get together for the first 
time in 30 years. 7m., 7f. 30 minutes. 25 cents. 

Mrs. Deacon Spriggs. A two-act play for older 
women. Full of good healthy fun and lively gossip. 
12f. 30 min. 25 cents. 

Romantic Molly. A one-act play by Ada S. Macom- 
ber. Full of comical incidents. Parlor scene. 4m., 
3f. 30 min. 25 cents. 



NEW SONGS 



Our Latch String Hangs Outside. A dandy new 
welcome song that will start your entertainment right. 
Sheet music. 25 cents. 

Just Smile and Say Good-Bye. A capital song to 
send your audience home feeling good natured. Bright 
and catchy. 25 cents. 

De Coonville Jubilee. The 'Ristocrats of Coonville 
hold a jubilee and "Dey didn't get home till de break 
ob day." Sheet music. 25 cents. 



The Willis N. Bugbee Co., Syracuse, N. Y. 



